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When Bad Things Happen to Good People

by Abigail Norton | October 23, 2018

“We make this error all the time,” Dr. Ogles said, “we say that bad things happen to bad people.” He uses the example of people who are injured in car accidents. The first question is always, “Were you wearing a seatbelt?” Dr. Ogles’ Disciple Scholar Lecture, “When Bad Things Happen to Good People: Lessons from Psychotherapy and the Gospel,” took an in-depth look at sexual misconduct (i.e., harassment, stalking, domestic violence, and unwanted sexual contact) and its presence at BYU, all through the lens of how bad things happen to good people.

In his lecture, Dr. Ogles concluded that when bad things happen, people try to make sense of a world that has become “unpredictable and chaotic.” When trying to answer the question of ‘why’ the bad thing happened, the cause of bad events can be attributed to the self or to God. Either process, Dr. Ogles said, may lead to feeling damaged, broken, or ashamed. Like in the seatbelt example, Dr. Ogles says it’s easy to get caught up in thinking that because something bad happened to us then we are bad.

Much of Dr. Ogles’ message focused on healing. In the words of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s well-known General Conference talk, Like a Broken Vessel, “If things continue to be debilitating, seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values. Be honest with them about your history and your struggles.” Dr. Ogles likewise referenced Elder Neil L. Andersen’s talk, Wounded, “No injustice, no persecution, no trial, no sadness, no heartache, no suffering, no wound—however deep, however wide, however painful—will be excluded from the comfort, peace, and lasting hope of Him whose open arms and whose wounded hands will welcome us back into His presence.”

If you have been involved in sexual misconduct, the following are recommendations from BYU Victim Advocate, Dr. Lisa Leavitt.

  1. Prepare for memories and flashbacks

    • Take steps to self-soothe
    • Ground yourself in reality

  2. Reconnect with your physical body and feelings

    • Mindfulness
    • Movement/exercise

  3. Nurture yourself

    • Practice self-compassion
    • Be smart about media consumption

Ben Ogles is a professor of psychology who currently serves as the dean of the College of Family, Home, and Social Sciences. Before joining BYU in 2011, he worked at Ohio University for 21 years where he served as the chair of the Psychology Department and dean of the College of Arts and Sciences. His scholarship is focused on examining the effectiveness of psychotherapy and more specifically on the measurement of change in individuals receiving treatment for psychological disorders.

In 1985, Dr. Ogles graduated with a B.S. in Accounting from Brigham Young University. Dr. Ogles earned his Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from BYU.