Building Bridges and Notable Nudges

Before hurrying to the Maeser Building last Wednesday evening, Dr. Liz Darger saw some of her colleagues and asked them for a priesthood blessing. There had been a mix-up about the date for the lecture, and Darger felt she needed guidance from the spirit as she rushed to make it to the Honors Disciple Scholar Lecture. As they administered the blessing, her colleagues blessed her that she would be able to have peace and share the message she needed to give to the Honors community. In sharing that experience, Darger actively demonstrated to a group of about 250 Honors students who filled up the seats of the auditorium and two overflow rooms in the Maeser building, what it really means to live as a disciple-scholar at BYU. Her words set the tone for the inspirational message that followed.

Nudges from the Spirit—coming to BYU
Darger started her lecture titled, “Building Bridges and Notable Nudges” by speaking of a “nudge” she received from the Spirit when she was 18 years old. She had wanted to play sports in college and planned to play volleyball at Utah State University. However, as she was preparing to make this decision, she felt a pit in her stomach and knew that feeling was coming from the Holy Ghost. As she prayed for guidance, she felt like she should go to BYU. By doing so, she knew she would forfeit the opportunity to play college sports.

Even though it wasn’t the path she had originally planned for herself, Darger decided to study at BYU. She explained that trusting and following those “nudges” from the Spirit has been crucial in her life. “The more I follow them, the more of them I receive,” she said. “And before long, they may not even feel like nudges anymore, because it’s just who we are, and it’s just part of how we live our life.”

Failures don’t define us and it’s going to be ok
Though she felt inspired to go to BYU, she often questioned why. She told a story of how she took Honors American Heritage and ultimately failed the class. She called her mom, sobbing. Her mom reassured her saying, “It’s going to be ok.” Failing her Honors class, not playing college sports, and not having the dating opportunities she had expected all contributed to Darger feeling confused about why she was even at BYU. During her senior year of college, she went through a crisis and prayed to the Lord for help. The answer she received was: “You are my daughter, that’s who you are. All this other stuff is going to come and go in your life, but you are my daughter, and I have important work for you to do.”

As a daughter of God, Darger learned that grades and relationships did not define her. She still didn’t understand why she was at BYU, but she knew that everything would be ok. Speaking to the Honors students, Darger said, “I just feel impressed to tell you all that it’s going to be ok. There will be times when you will fail…I’ve been there…and I’m here to tell you that it’s going to be ok…and the reason it’s going to be okay is because of the Savior, Jesus Christ and because of His atoning sacrifice.”

Nudges from people—speaking potential into others
During her time of crisis, Darger received a second nudge. This time, it didn’t come through the Holy Ghost—it came through another person. She was visiting her sister who was playing volleyball at Colorado State University when she met a woman named Reagan, a basketball coach. Darger asked her how she got the position. Reagan suggested that Darger start coaching with her father, who was working at Timpview High School in Provo.

Darger didn’t feel like she was qualified for the job. Without Darger knowing, Reagan called her father, then handed Darger the phone and said, “My dad wants to talk to you.” Ultimately, Darger took the job and worked there for four years. She said that what took Reagan only five minutes to do had changed her life.

Darger encouraged the Honors students to be like Reagan, and to nudge others and see the potential in them. “We all have that power within us,” she explained. “She nudged me to consider something that I wouldn’t have considered on my own…that nudge changed my life.” She said that Reagan “spoke potential” into her life.

Darger said she has had multiple experiences like this where she was nudged by someone who saw potential in her that she couldn’t see in herself. Inspired by these people, Darger also strives to nudge others and “speak potential” into their lives.

I have a work for you—be worthy and willing
Another nudge came from a woman who at the time was in the position that Darger currently holds as the senior associate athletic director at BYU. This woman had encouraged Darger to apply for the position, but again, Darger did not feel qualified. She was also feeling discouraged that she had not yet been sealed in a temple marriage.

Guidance came to her through the song, “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.” The words “prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love, here’s my heart oh take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above,” touched her heart. She was reminded to not focus on the covenants she hadn’t yet made and instead focus more and try to understand the covenants she had already made with God.

She applied for the BYU job, feeling that God was telling her that He had a work for her to do. She said, “The answer that kept coming from my Father in Heaven was, ‘if you are worthy, and you are willing, I’m going to facilitate you having this job, and then I've got things I need you to do when you’re in it.’”

Build bridges of understanding—a prophetic invitation
Darger is now in her tenth year at BYU. In this job, she was asked to represent BYU in the NCAA's Common Ground Initiative, the purpose of which is to create understanding between members of the LGBTQ community and faith-based institutions in athletics.

Not having much experience talking about her beliefs with those not of her faith, she felt nervous going into one of her first meetings. She was the only member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the group and felt completely alone. During the discussion, someone started attacking her beliefs. At that moment, she said a silent prayer in her heart. When he had finished speaking, Darger was shaking but found herself thanking him. “As I said those words, they were not my own. It truly was the Holy Ghost speaking the words,” she explained.

Darger invited the Honors students to follow President Russell M. Nelson’s guidance when he said, “...we need to work tirelessly to build bridges of understanding rather than creating walls of segregation. I plead with us to work together for peace, for mutual respect, and for an outpouring of love for all of God’s children.”

Recognizing the blessings that have come from following that initial nudge to come to BYU as an 18-year-old, Darger said, “I have felt the confidence, courage, and the humility involved in being His disciple and doing His work in spaces and places and ways I never would have imagined.” In closing, she encouraged the Honors students to heed nudges they receive, and to nudge others when prompted, to build bridges and speak potential into the lives of others.